Questions We Actually Get

Is it see-through when it's wet?

No. It's 140gsm polyester, which is the weight where a printed short stays opaque soaked. Plenty of novelty shorts are made at 100–120gsm to hit a price, and you find out the hard way. We didn't do that.

Does the print actually line up across the back seam?

That's the whole job. The shorts are cut from four printed panels, and the artwork is drawn as one continuous piece before it's sliced to the panel shapes — so the design meets at the seams instead of being four separate pictures stitched together and hoped for. It's the difference between a short that reads as one image and a short that reads as a mistake.

Is it a real swim short, or a costume?

A real swim short. Quick-dry polyester, white mesh liner, elastic waist, working drawcord. Swim in it, get out, walk to the car, it's dry. The joke is the print; the garment isn't part of the joke.

Will the print fade or crack?

It's sublimated, not screen printed. The dye bonds into the polyester rather than sitting on top of it as a layer of plastic. That means it can't crack, peel or flake, and chlorine and salt don't lift it. Wash cold, don't tumble dry, don't iron the print — same as any swimwear.

Why does delivery take 10–15 days?

Because it ships direct from our manufacturing partner instead of sitting in an Australian warehouse first. That's a real trade-off and we're not going to dress it up: you wait longer, and in exchange the short is $59.95 instead of $89. If you need something tomorrow, we're not your brand. If you're buying for the 26th, order by 11 December and you'll have it with room to spare.

Am I going to get in trouble wearing this?

It's a printed pair of shorts. You are fully clothed, which is the part that matters. Whether your mother-in-law sees it that way is between the two of you.

What if the size is wrong?

Tell us within 30 days, unworn and with the liner intact, and we'll send the right size at half price — you keep the first pair. No posting anything back across the world, no waiting three weeks for a refund. It's cheaper for you than return postage and someone you know is a different size.

Read the size guide first though. It's written to be accurate, not to flatter you.

Can I return it if I change my mind?

No — orders go straight to production and there's no local warehouse to take them back. So be sure before you order, and email us first if you're unsure about anything. We'll give you an honest answer even when the honest answer is that it's not for you.

Do you make women's?

Not yet. Ask us again after summer.

Can I get a custom print done?

For a team, a bucks party or a club, yes — there's a minimum and it takes about six weeks, so start early. Email us and tell us what you're thinking.